22 January, 2026
I believe that recognition and appreciation – both for us as a person and in actions – are as innate needs of humans as water and oxygen. Just as plants thrive in water, air, and sunlight, identities and actions thrive, which are recognized and appreciated. This, I believe, in Allah‘s (SWT) grand design is a powerful catalyst for cultivating people according to society‘s values.
Healthy societies have positive values like honesty, integrity, courage, dignity, and honor. Through the process of recognition and appreciation, such values gradually convert into individual character traits of people.
When rural Afghanistan rose against the American occupation – as I have learned in my travels to Afghanistan in the past few months – many people were unaware of the intricacies of the future as envisioned by the Afghan Taliban.
To accept an invasion and occupation equaled accepting dishonor , and most Afghans would rather die than be called dishonorable. Instead, the fight for many was about the insult to their honor and dignity that the invaders inflicted. To make matters worse, all thresholds were crossed when Americans started entering homes to kill suspected resistance fighters in front of their families. Mothers would call sons who would hesitate to fight cowards and dishonorable. Many of these mothers were unlettered and oblivious to the complexities of politics. Such values and character traits converged with the Islamic discourse of the Taliban to make the resistance so lethal.
With the society recognizing and appreciating honor, courage, and sacrifice, the Taliban had no dearth of people willing to fight and die. In the homes of the Shuhada (martyrs), I have seen posters made by the mothers of their sons who died valiantly, their acts of courage mentioned for all guests to see and appreciate. It is an honor to be the wife of a shaheed (martyr), and society works hard to ensure that such widows are taken care of. In my work in three provinces in Afghanistan, I did not find a single widow family which was homeless. Not a single! Having said the above, there is a challenge.
This design of cultivating character through recognition and appreciation is a double-edged sword and this is where a complex challenge lies: what if society starts to recognize and appreciate immoral values? It is here that Islam gives us a philosophy so simple yet powerful and so robust yet elegant that one stands awed; and which is that we should look toward Allah (SWT) and towards Him (SWT) alone to meet our needs of both recognition and appreciation. To be recognized is to be understood; and to be understood is to be known. Sometimes, people closest to you fail to understand you because they don‘t know you to the most profound extent. This could be due to the absence of knowledge, experience, or intellectual prowess.
Can a husband honestly know the pain and the agony that his wife goes through during labor? Can a wife truly fathom the anguish and torment of a husband who has been tortured in a concentration camp? How deeply can a mother understand when her son tells her that his paper in Solid State Physics has been published? It is a fact of life that there is a limit to how much people will ever know us, and since recognition is based on knowledge, it will also be limited. And since appreciation stems from knowledge and recognition, it too shall have limitations.
Without recognition and appreciation, we feel unfulfilled and dejected. In extreme cases, this can lead to depression. Relationships are disturbed when these needs take the shape of mutual expectations.
I believe Islam puts an end to this vicious spiral. We should look at Allah (SWT) alone for our recognition as He (SWT) is the only Being in this Universe, Who can truly know us. From Him (SWT), nothing is hidden. It is so beautiful and liberating to realize that He (SWT) finally knows and recognizes our acts. When we do something great in the expanse of some wilderness where humans are nowhere to be found, it is Allah (SWT) Who is watching and recording everything.
And then, who can appreciate us better than Him (SWT)? Yes, we can‘t see Him (SWT) but His acts, rewards, interventions, and retributions are all around us to be seen, heard, and felt.