17 January, 2024
Relational character traits – similar and dissimilar – are developed due to our relations with others. Your generosity that enhances through socializing with a very generous friend is a similar relational character trait. When a father deals with cruelty and arrogance, not only do cruelty and arrogance form in the child (similar relational character traits) but also vengeance and cowardice (dissimilar relational character traits). Ghayrah (ہیرغ or ثیرغ) of a husband will trigger Haya (ایخ) in his wife and vice versa (dissimilar relational character traits). In my travels to over 30 countries and relief work in multiple war zones, I have experienced that the heightened Haya of women is directly proportional to the advanced level of Ghayrah of men: Chechens, the Pashtoon tribal belt of Pakistan, Baloch tribal areas, the Arab tribes in the UAE and most of Afghanistan are some examples. Then there are nations where both of these traits are low, and they are low together. Let me summarize how Wikipedia defines Ghayrah and Haya: Ghayrah (Arabic: ت َ ْ یر َ غ) in Arabic means a person‘s dislike of another‘s sharing of a right. It has a sense of earnest concern or zeal over something and can be considered a kind of protective jealousy. In Islam, there are different kinds of Ghayrah: that which relates to God, and which relates to a Muslim. God‘s discontent is sharing the obedience of His servant, which rightfully belongs to Him. For a Muslim, the uneasiness in his heart moves him to guard his family against indecency. Haya (Arabic: ءا يح), roughly corresponding to bashfulness, decency, modesty, and shyness, is an Arabic word that means natural or inherent shyness and a sense of modesty. In Islamic terminology, it is mainly used in the context of modesty. Haya plays a vital role in Islam, as it is one of the most critical parts of Iman (faith). Haya encourages Muslims to avoid anything considered to be distasteful or abominable. The antonym of Haya in Arabic is badha‘a (ةءابذ, immodesty) or fahisha ( ة شحفا, lewdness or obscenity).